25 Aug 10 Things I Would Tell My 30 Year Old Self
By the time I turned 30, I wasn’t sure where the other 29 years of my life went. Everything moved so quickly. Where did the childhood days of wearing cute frilly clothes to church go?
After my 30th birthday nothing was especially different about my life. I kept on keeping on. That was fine with me. There were different interactions with the world, though, that showed me that I was growing up.
Once you turn 30, there’s no more cutting slack for behaviors you pulled off in your twenties. Your body punishes your pizza-for-breakfast. Your relationships are more dependent on your behavior than the behavior of others. The world looks at you in a fashion that’s new to you, but nobody teaches you how to shift your behavior to adjust.
Things I would tell my 30 year old self:
- Find a new job or consider a new career. Do not stay in a job that you are miserable working. I don’t care how much money you make.
- Don’t let yourself get charmed into a situationship. If it’s not a relationship and you want a committed relationship, don’t settle for crumbs. I don’t care what you want it to be, it ain’t that! If a man says he ain’t ready, believe him!
- Live for you! You are truly responsible for your own happiness and contentment. Really find out what makes you happy and do that!
- Your body is changing. Pay close attention. The things you use to do, you can’t do anymore. Like eat pizza and french fries 5 times a week!
- Be intentional about saving cash money for a rainy day! You always need pocket money to be able to exit ANY toxic situation, be it a relationship or work.
- Really consider the pros and cons of grad school. If it is not free, evaluate if the extra student loan debt will have a tremendous impact on your earning potential and lifestyle.
- You are really growing into your own skin now! Who you are is beautiful. You can’t please everybody. Love and spend time with people who love you for you. Let your haters sort themselves out.
- Your journey is unique to you, stop comparing yourself to others. I know you don’t think you compare yourself to other women, but those little voices in your head wishing your life looked like what you think her life looks like is comparison.
- Take more risks! Your faith muscles need flexin!
- Date all kinds of men! (Well, really start this in your twenties.) Don’t stick to a type. Love the one who loves you!
At this point, you start to dig your feet in the ground and stand as your own person. Your goals in life become clearer. Your wants and needs are concrete because now that you’ve lived out your young adulthood, you’ve already seen what you do and don’t want. Even if nothing in your life feels different day-to-day, you notice little changes in the way other people treat you.Your young adulthood is over. You've already seen what you do and don't want. Click To Tweet
At the same time, when you’re 30…
The downside to this self-awareness is that while we’re starting to understand our unique selves better, we’re also starting to understand society’s expectations of us better. This can lead to constantly comparing your lifestyle to those of others like you’re “doing it wrong.”
There is no “right or wrong” answer for how to live life. Just because I chose not to settle down with a family doesn’t mean that it’s an incorrect choice–it only means it was the incorrect choice for me. I praise women that value their family life and choose to pursue strength through their partnerships. I often wonder how my experiences would have changed if I’d ended up getting married. If I could go back, maybe I would decide to have a mate and raise kids with them. Maybe it could have been a potentially-correct choice.
One of the most amazing things about life is that no matter what we decide to do, we always could have done it another way. God lays out our opportunities, but it is up to us to shape them into what they will become. We are what make our lives special. The choices we make are what define who we are.The choices we make are what define who we are. Click To Tweet
My 30 year old self needed to hear that she was safe to take the opportunities she was given. She was a beautiful woman that deserved to spread her wings and fly.
For more womanly wisdom for your younger selves, check out: